An Obituary

Hey M,

I missed you at T’s funeral last night. Of course I didn’t expect M there, because he probably didn’t know T too well, not to mention the whole continent to cross. There was a big turnout of mourners, however, at least a couple of hundred, because a whole church congregation was there and it took forever. A church elder had to pray and the pastor preach, both determined to impress. Then there was a memorial address by T’s daughter from France and a duet. The male tenor was tolerable but the soprano was too loud with no musical finesse. Then the pastor called on me by name to give my obituary, taking me by total surprise. Expecting an informal small family gathering with a few friends, not such a formal programed service, I had asked P to let me say a goodbye of 20 seconds, but I hadn’t heard back. Later I learned that he was in Arizona. So I had given up on the talk, which was good considering the unbearable length of the service. But P must have forwarded my request to B, who then asked either the family or the pastor to let me talk. I had to give my two bits.

고인과는 국민 학교 중고등 학교 발육기 와 형성기를 같이 하고 지금 까지 수 십년간동창으로 교류했습니다. 제가 아는 그는 관용의 정수 입니다. 가령 어릴 때 구슬 치기를 하다가 반측 사항이라도 발생 하면 다들 악을 쓰고 주먹을 후드 릴 때 그는 웃으며물러 났습니다. 이번에도 그 양보 심을 보여 줍니다. 내가 양보하여 너희들 보다 먼저간다 하고. 그러나 곧 차례가 올 터이니 법석 대지 말고 얌전히들 있다 따라 오라고암시하면 서요. 고인의 서거가 내일 같기에 진심으로 애도 합니다. 

[Having shared our developmental and formative years through elementary and secondary school the departed and I have been in constant touch for the last several decades as alums. The man T I knew was the epitome of bigheartedness. For example, when violations occurred while playing marbles as kids, everybody would scream their heads off saying they were right, swinging their fist, but he would smile and give way. He is yielding the same way now, telling us his alums that he is going first to defer us, implying that our turn will come and when it does we should follow him mannerly, without fuss. I mourn him truly because his passing is mine.]

I almost quoted John Donne’s For Whom the Bell Tolls but forbore.

In attendance from our class were D and O L, G K, W and his wife, and Mrs. C (K C’s widow). I hope I haven’t missed anybody else but I could be mistaken. Oh, my wife was there to guide me with GPS. I can’t multitask while driving. 

Have a good day.

Ty